Things I've learned

Things I've learned on my rehabilitation journey

On my rehabilitation journey, in meetings with healthcare professionals, physiotherapists, psychologists, therapists and others living with brain injury or other disabilities, I picked out some good lessons and made a list of points that I feel help me in my everyday life.

I use this list almost every day. I read through it to remind myself of these things. Sometimes it’s just a quick glance, other days I read it word for word, sometimes I have to really dig deep to remind myself of these things, but I’ve learned to stick to these points. It’s not a static list, it changes, I add things from time to time, either because I pick up a good point from someone or it pops into my head. Also, these are in no particular order.

These are sort of my "new" rules of thumb

• Recovery is not linear. Everyone has setbacks. What really matters is how you handle the setbacks.
• Everyone's recovery happens at different paces. Everyone goes through different things and has different brains so recovery from any issue can span greatly in how long it takes to heal.
• The work is hard, and you are constantly learning new things about yourself. If it seems too easy, but nothing changes, you may need to push yourself a little harder. You, and you only, are responsible for continuing to move forward. There are no shortcuts.
• Recovery can be a lifelong struggle. (This seems to be true for me.) So you have to learn to be patient with yourself.
• The only way to truly improve is to be completely honest, no matter how difficult it is to be truthful. Therapists are willing to work at your pace because they know that some people take longer than others to be able to be honest about themselves and what they are actually capable of.
• You are not your thoughts and feelings. They are part of you but they don't define who you are.
• You don't always have to act on your feelings. Sometimes it's most important to feel them physically. It's okay to cry.

• You can’t do everything. I kind of get that part, but so often I run around at a frantic pace trying to do everything, and then I burn out, run out of energy, and collapse on the couch. So I’m working on measures that can help, but it’s nice to admit that I need to seriously work on my “I CAN DO ANYTHING” attitude. Does it help? Only time will tell, but I’m sure this will be a recurring theme. Hard to change old habits.
• There is one word that is very unhelpful... "Should." It seems judgmental, whether you realize it or not. It took me a lifetime to learn just that. But it is so true, so true.
• Don't beat yourself up for stuff that you haven't learned yet. Everything takes time, and often you need additional help, to learn. Be gentle to you self, not hard.
• Saying "no" is okay. It doesn't matter who it is or what it is to, boundaries are important for everyone. Without them, you will burn out very quickly.
• Do something you enjoy. make a list just for you of those things you used to do and see if you get a spark. I made my list and for some of them, there is no love lost. The others, I realize, I missed immensely. While I understand that there are some of the things I can not do anymore, I found some I can, and focus on getting back to doing them agin. My happy time.
• You don't have to put effort into a relationship if you don't feel like the other person does the same. Some people see the world differently than you do. and go down a different path, and that's okay.
• Other people's feelings are not your responsibility. You can't control their feelings and behavior, only your reaction to it.
• No matter how difficult it is, it is extremely important to listen to your body. This helps prevent burnout, setbacks, and hurt feelings.
• It's okay to not be okay. Everyone has challenges, whether they're visible or not. We all have good days and bad days.
• Talk positive to yourself, think positive thought, surround you with people there cheer on you, distance you from who they don't, then positive things will happen.
• YOU MATTER! Whether you feel like you are, or not, you are important!!!.