Where am I today and what have I achieved in the past year?

Introduction

It's been a while since I last wrote. I've been a bit lost for words. Mostly my life is good, I feel good and am happy with most of my life today.

But sometimes you have to take a step back and evaluate where you are and how you got there, and these days it's been three years since that fateful May day in 2023 when my life suddenly decided to take an unexpected turn. 

In addition, I have also had some medical tests over the last couple of months on my right shoulder, collarbone and neck because we were not getting anywhere with the rehabilitation process. The results of that ended up with a clear recommendation that I need surgery to try to repair the collarbone and cut the biceps on my right side, so I have now scheduled surgery for August of this year.

I felt like it was a bit of a setback.

Even when I know it's positive to get it done.

So yeah, I needed some time to clear my head, think things over, think about what I've achieved so far, where I am today and where I'm going, sort of decide on the path forward.

Now I have landed the most of these things, have a kind of a plan for the rest of the year, so let's dive into it with a brief recap.

Three years ago

The summer three years ago, after my accident, I tried to stay positive. At that time, there was a lot of uncertainty in my life. I was in a kind of denial, but deep down I kind of knew it. But at that time, I was far from ready to accept that the life I had was about to change in a way I couldn't have imagined. So denial, fighting it, convincing myself that it will pass, all illness will go away in time, I will get well again, I will be my normal self again..., soon, was a kind of a nice pillow to lay my head on.

Summer of 2024, I started listening to my mind, listening to my desires, started flowing with what my thoughts were trying to tell me, stopped fighting it, started believing what my thoughts wanted me to do. Slowly but surely, the journey back to a new meaningful life began.

Coming to Sunnaas Hospital in November 2024 starting on rehabilitation, was the last boost I needed to really set full speed ahead, all the knowledge I got with me from the rehabilitation stay was a big help to change my mindset, to thing positive, to really want to push myself to my limits and above to get back to a new "normal life".

The past year

The past year has been a good year. I have come a long way, spent a lot, a lot of hours with my speech therapist to get my language back.

Lots of hours training with my physiotherapist to gain better control of my pulse and balance, try to build up the strength in my right shoulder and arm, and reduce the pain.

Have been in a therapy group with others who have the same challenges related to brain injury. We have met every 14 days since August 2025.

Had the splinter in my left eye removed and the eye repaired, which has given me back my balance, nearly rid of headaches and migraines, reduced dizziness challenges a lot, and as a bonus new lenses in both eyes.

I've been to some camps, white Sunnaas Foundation, to challenge myself and learned a lot about how to live with a brain injury, met a lot of new amazing people, built new relationships, and last but not least I'm well on my way to really understanding what happened that fateful day three years ago, the injuries I sustained, which makes it far more easier to accept and move on.

And more related to the rehabilitation process, psychologists, specialists, excamaintaions....

So yes, a lot of things has happened, mostly positivt, so in general a good year. I feel like I'm on the right track and ready to face new challenges after the summer.

I'm starting in August with an operation on my shoulder and collarbone, hopefully to relieve the pain and maybe improve the function of my right arm closer to normal again, Unfortunately, that surgery will result in another year and a half with my physical therapist for rehabilitation. Look at it on the bright side, hopefully this is the last part of the reparation after the accident😁

In September 2026, I will join the mentoring program at the Sunnaas Foundation, and it is something I am really looking forward to.

Where am I today

Today, I have to accept that my life will never be the same as it was before the accident. Part of living a long life is that things change due to the natural course of life. Change is a part of life, and I have realized that I will not let the pain of what has happened to me rob me of the opportunity to continue living my life to the fullest.

Yes, I would say I am proud of how far I have come. I have learned that you can do whatever you let your mind desire, as long as you choose to listen to it, believe in yourself and try, and try and try again, accept that there will be setbacks, that sometimes you will fail, two steps forward and three steps back, but as long as you keep moving, you will get there, never give up, listen to the positive, ignore the negative. Allow yourself to grieve, to cry, to celebrate, to scream out loud, both in joy and in pain, remember that you are only human. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't. Because you can if you want to, it's up to you, no one can do it for you, you have to want it, you have to do it, and you can, believe me, belive in yourself, you can.

My goals and how I managed them

Goals are an important part of life in general, and even more when you're in a rehab phase. My goals are what get me out of bed every day, drive me through the day, keep fighting, never give up.

When I arrived at Sunnaas Hospital in November 2024, I set some goals to achieve for the next years of my life. They helped me define them based on my situation at the time.

My first goal

One of the goals I set for myself a couple of years ago was to get back on my bike, but not just to be able to ride a bike, but to get back on trails, and ride downhill trails.

When I set that goal, it felt a little unreachable. I struggled with balance, coordination, and processing information quickly enough to plan my route ahead and choose the best and safest way down. Things that are a must when cycling fast downhill.

Today I'm almost there. Many hours on the bike over the past year, hours white physiotherapist to build strength and balance, eye surgery and some pain along the way have helped me get back on track. Not at the same level, but close enough, I having fun on my bike again.

My second goal 

My second goal was to find the joy of being in the kitchen and experimenting to create recipes for good and healthy food again, or in general just enjoying cooking again.

This goal has been much harder than I expected, but I try and try, and I see small victories from time to time. Sometimes I get motivated and enjoy it, and I manage to make some new recipes. So I'm moving in the right direction, small steps, but forward. I'll get there, I promise you, I'll get there one day.

My third goal 

My third goal was to get a meaningful life back. For most people, that probably sounds strange. Most people don't even think about it in their daily lives. They have a job, a social life, activities, friends, and family that fill their daily lives.

A lot of these things disappeared from my life three years ago, so yes, I want to find something to fill my life with, new activities, new friends, build a new social life, in a way that I can manage.

With this goal, I feel like I'm on the right track. New friends have appeared, I have a social life I can handle, with people I understand and respect, people who understand and respect me for who I am.

I have found new activities to fill my day with, flying drones, making films, creating mood sounds for my films and helping other people. From autumn 2026, I will join the mentoring program at the Sunnaas Foundation, so that I can learn how to be a mentor in order to continue helping people.

Going forward

Yes, this is a big question going forward, and only time will tell the right answer. My thought for the future is to continue working on my three main goals to improve them. Particular goal two and three.

My big hope is that by joining the Sunnaas Foundation mentoring program, as I will in September this year, I can continue to work with and help other people have a better life.

In addition, I will continue to work on putting what has happened behind me so that it no longer controls my life going forward. I will spend time maintaining my “new” social life, staying in touch with the people I have met in the last two years, my family, the few friends who never lost faith in me, building new relationships through the mentoring program, my activities and other areas where I am currently present, continue enjoying the beautiful things in life, to stay focused on moving forward.

I will not let the pain of what happened to me rob me of the opportunity to experience all the beauty that lies ahead of me.

Reflections

My life has changed, my ambitions have changed, my dreams have changed. My ambitions for my life were pretty clear before the accident, and like most of us, I had some dreams about how life would shape up.

Our ambitions and dreams give us glimpses of beautiful possibilities, and they can help us navigate a reality that may be less beautiful. That’s one thing about ambitions and dreams. They can blind us to the price of success.

But no matter how driven we are by this natural impulse, ambitions are not set in stone. Dreams change, and even if we can’t climb the highest mountains, it’s still possible to move them.

As the old English poets said, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try, you can get what you need.”

Today I have new ambitions, new dreams that will help me navigate through whatever life throws at me.

So if you ever feel like your ambitions are suddenly unattainable, take a step back and try to reframe them.

Ambitions and dreams are what propel us through life's most difficult times.

Sometimes we have to adjust them to fit the changes in our lives.

I'll leave you with this

Looking back today, I am in many ways positive about how life will turn out. I have learned a lot about myself, a lot about other people, seen both the dark side and the bright side, learned that there is no easy, right or wrong answer. But as long as you keep moving forward, you will find the answer, not always the one you want, but you will find an answer, and sometimes you have to accept and adapt to the answer, and sometimes you don't, but no matter what you find, keep moving forward, don't let the pain of the past rob you of the opportunity to see the beauty of the life that lies ahead. Accept and let go of what is not meant to be a part of your life moving forward, remember not everything or everyone is meant to be in you life forever, this is life.

And as Jane "Nightbirde" Marczewski said on stage on America's Got Talent in 2021 "You can't wait to life is not hard anymore before you decides to be happy"